An inspiring woman has agreed to feature in a television documentary to highlight why it is so important to report to police any incidents of sexual abuse and violence because of the devastating impact it had on not only her life but others.
The bravery of Mary Sharp has been praised by Devon, Cornwall and Isles of Scilly Police and Crime Commissioner Alison Hernandez who is encouraging others to report crimes to the police to prevent perpetrators from reoffending and behaviours escalating.
Mary was just 20 years old when she was raped by her then boyfriend while visiting his parents for the first time in Cornwall. Her horrific ordeal began when she woke up in bed to find she had been tied up and was being raped and suffocated.
The perpetrator, Martin Butler, blamed her for the assault and, terrified to tell anyone what happened, she kept the secret semi-hidden for 30 years until 2018 when she saw a post on social media. Mary instantly recognised him as an ex-boyfriend.
In the post, Laura Hughes and Lauren Preston alleged they were both sexually abused when they were as young as 14 years old. The case collapsed in court due to a procedural error and, on this occasion, Butler walked free.
It prompted Laura to post a public appeal for other victims to come forward. The trio are now appearing in a documentary called Do You Know this Man? which will be shown on Channel 4 this Wednesday, May 13, at 10pm.
Mary, who is now 58 said: “When I was raped he blamed me and said it was my fault. Even though I knew in my heart he was wrong, I didn’t speak out because the fear was overwhelming. I was too ashamed to tell anyone and I carried the blame.
“I felt so utterly stupid to have trusted someone who could do that, so I tried to bury any memory of it. But the trauma never left me for over 30 years.
“As soon as I saw Laura’s social media post my whole world just collapsed. I realised it wasn’t me who was to blame; it was him and I shouldn’t be wearing the shame of it.
“What made me decide to report him to the police was seeing my teenage children watching a film and giggling and laughing. It was how I used to watch television until I was raped.
“I look back at photographs of me after it happened, and I just look haunted because I suffered in silence.”
It was five years after reporting Butler to the police that Mary finally got justice in April 2023. Laura and Lauren both gave evidence which helped secure the conviction. Butler, then aged 61, of Stevenage, was jailed for 11 years after being found guilty of rape and buggery following a trial at Truro Crown Court.
Mary said: “When I reported him to the police, I didn’t think about him going to prison; I thought too much time had passed for any conviction so I just wanted the police to keep an eye on him. I didn’t think they would believe me, but victims now have a voice and my police officer gave me continued support throughout the case, giving me the strength to keep going and not give up at the first hurdle.
“The Crown Prosecution Service threw the case out twice after deciding there was not enough evidence. The decision was overturned and I did get an apology, but it took another five years of trauma after reporting him to get justice because of it.
“When I was told he had been found guilty and would be jailed I literally collapsed. I was believed and I was allowed to have justice. I felt like I was becoming a new person and I could start to be my authentic self and begin rebuilding my life.
“I would encourage others to speak out because although it’s painful it shows strength and it might stop the same perpetrator doing something as bad – or worse to others.”
After meeting Laura and Lauren for the first time after the court case, Mary says she admired their strength to stand up and be counted.
She recalled: “Looking at them was like looking in a mirror and seeing the same hell that I had been through. We now call ourselves soul sisters because we have met the same beast.
Mary, who has begun healing thanks to counselling and reigniting a passion for creating art, said: “Now I don’t have to hide it all the time. Instead, I have accepted it and although it has changed me massively, I am learning how to deal with it.”
Police and Crime Commissioner Alison Hernandez said: “This is a powerful reminder of how perpetrators can devastate multiple peoples’ lives, including victims and their families. It is vital all incidents are reported to so that they can gather the intelligence needed to take cases to court.
“The burden of shame needs to be shifted away from victims or individuals with the responsibility placed back onto perpetrators whose vile behaviours will not be tolerated in our society.
“In waiving their right to anonymity, Mary, Laura and Lauren, who have taken part in this documentary, will help encourage other victims to come forward. I am in complete admiration of their strength and compassion for others, and Mary’s story is both heartbreaking and heartwarming.
“Victim support, funded by office, is available to all crime, regardless whether it has been reported to the police or not.”
Detective Superintendent Nicky Seager, Strategic Safeguarding Lead for Devon & Cornwall Police, said: “We recognise the bravery of anyone who has suffered sexual abuse and commend the victim in this case who made the choice to report and engage with the criminal justice process.
“Devon & Cornwall Police takes all reports of sexual abuse seriously, regardless of how long ago it may have happened and will gather any evidence as required to take appropriate action in line with the victim’s wishes.
“Victims will be listened to sympathetically and will be guided through the criminal justice process with the support of our partner agencies, including the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS), and numerous support services – including Independent Sexual Violence Advisors and Sexual Assault Referral Centres.
“As a force we remain fully committed to tackling not just sexual offences, but all reports of violence against women and girls. Each report will be thoroughly investigated by our officers. We recognise that every victim’s experience is different and we aim to provide a tailored response to what can often be a traumatic and difficult process.”
Mary has self-published a book on Amazon called The Silver Thread in which she shares a deeply personal and courageous account of survival, trauma, and the long road to justice and reclaiming power. For each copy sold, 10 per cent of proceeds will go to the Sexual Assault and Abuse Support Service Buckinghamshire and Milton Keynes. Mary is now in the midst of writing a novel based on the impact of keeping trauma silent and has also completed a poetry collection reflecting on trauma, healing, and the threads that connect us.
To report a crime please call 101, online at www.devon-cornwall.police.uk or via 999 if in immediate danger.
For victim support, please visit the OPCC’s Victim Care website, www.victimcare-dc.org for more details.